Ship of Dreams
by LexiLindale35
Summary: A titanic AU no one realized they wanted. Meeting Bellamy was the spark that lit up my soul, my heart. He was also the spark that changed my life.
1. Chapter 1

They called it the ship of dreams. The titanic. The first ship built that was unsinkable. Everyone was amazed at it's size and the capacity it could hold. There were even extravagant rooms inside the ship. Suitable for the upperclass they said, watching us board the ship. None of that mattered to me. I didn't care about this life, I didn't care about being in the upper class.

Ever since my father died my mom was obsessed with going to America. In her mind that was the only thing that would keep our friends from finding out our situation. She couldn't bare the thought of being poor, she would die if anyone else knew the truth. So she forced me to accept Finns proposal, the money was all she cared about. We had to keep up our appearance, we had to pretend like we still had our wealth.

The truth was we didn't. My dad had lost everything and that's how he died; trying to get it back for my mom. I hated her even more for it. I hated her need to be rich, to sit with the upper class. I hated this ship and I didn't want to go to America.

So I did the only thing I could do stuck in the middle of the sea. I ran to the bow and prepared to throw myself overboard.

My heels clicked hard on the floorboards as I ran. My beaded shaw fell off my shoulder but soon I wouldn't need it. Soon I'd be floating in the water, free from my mother and her prying eyes. Free from Finn and the life I didn't want. I'd see my dad again and maybe I'd make sense of what he left behind.

Or what he didn't leave behind.

I threw my bag down, my shaw falling down on my shoulders. I shivered, the air cold as ice. I slipped off my shoes and put my foot on the railing. I pulled myself over and held on as I faced the water. The rushing waves didn't scare me. Okay maybe they did. But that didn't matter. I welcomed the darkness that surrounded the boat, it would relieve me of everything I wanted out of my life.

I let out a slow breath thinking about everything that led here to this moment. I never wanted to kill myself. I always thought I could find a way out of this situation. But once she brought home those tickets, once Finn claimed to have business overseas, I knew there was no way out. I would be stuck with this stranger and a marriage I never wanted to happen.

I closed my eyes getting ready to let go.

"Whoa, I'd rethink that if I were you," a deep voice bellowed behind me.

I jumped, grabbing onto the railing before I fell. I thought I was ready, but now that someone else was here, maybe I wasn't, "excuse me? Who the hell are you?"

His hair fell into his eyes, the dark didn't help me distinguish his features. He was still too far away from me, "I'm just passing through. I just want to help. You don't want to do this. A pretty girl like you. You've got too much to live for."

I couldn't help but laugh, "you don't even know me."

"That might be true," he sighed, "but I do know that water is mighty cold. It'll hit you like a tone of bricks, seep into your soul. That is if you don't hit a propeller on the way down."

"I don't have another choice," he untied his shoes and threw his cigarette down, "what are you doing?"

"Well seeing as you're going to throw yourself over I have to get ready to go in after you. I'm not too excited about it, but I can't just stand here. I'd like to believe you'll listen to me. That water is ice cold."

I blew out a breath and I saw it in the air, "how cold?"

He tightened his jaw and unbuttoned his coat. He was still too far away for me to see more than his dark hair, "I used to go fishing with my dad out on the lake back home. I fell in once. I remember the ice filling my veins, the numbness setting in far too slowly. I couldn't get warm for hours afterwords."

I swallowed the lump in my throat realizing then how terrible my decision was. I took in a deep breath and nodded, "yeah. You're right."

"Turn around slowly," he said reaching out for me. I turned, my stocking the only thing keeping me on the railing.

As I stepped up to go back over onto the ship my dress caught on my foot. I slipped, grabbing the railing as I screamed. The stranger grabbed my arm, his muscles straining as he held me up. My feet dangled, my shaw fell into the water below. I felt the tears in my eyes as the panic rose.

"Please don't let me fall," I screamed over the waves.

He nodded, his hands holding my forearm, "I won't. Trust me, I won't. Now try to pull yourself up."

I couldn't move I was too scared. My feet kept slipping off the railing, the only saving grace was the stranger holding me. My voice was full of panic, "I can't. I'm slipping, please. I don't want to die."

"It's okay," his deep voice was soothing in this situation. He held onto my arm tightly, his shirt pulling as he leaned over to keep me from falling to the death I thought I had wanted moments before. A vein appeared on his forehead as he pulled me. He held my entire weight in his hands and he struggled to keep himself planted on the other side of that railing.

Slowly he pulled me up, I wasn't too heavy for him. But it was still a hassle to get me back over the railing without slipping. The waves kept crashing below my feet, the thought of disappearing into them was lost the moment I heard his voice. I took in a deep breath as he pulled me over the white railing and I collapsed in his arms.

He laughed as I hugged him tightly, "thank you," I pulled back and looked at him now that we were up close. He had big brown eyes, features I had never seen before. His jaw was tense, his skin was dark. He wasn't from here.

"I don't even know you're name," I whispered as the cold settled around us.

I was grateful to still be alive. He smiled, his hands still holding me in his arms, "Bellamy. Bellamy Blake."

"What is going on here?" We jumped apart when the ships Marshall showed up.

"I slipped," Bellamy put his coat around my shoulders before I could shiver against the wind. I looked at him grateful for his gesture. I also knew what this looked like and we both didn't need to be accused of anything that didn't happen. I didn't need them to know I was a mess.

This was a secret we would keep for each other, "Bellamy saved me from going overboard."

The Marshall looked suspicious, his eyes staring at Bellamy for another answer to appear. When he looked away, pulling another cigarette out of his pocket, he just nodded.

I grabbed my shoes, Finn coming to my side, "are you alright? What are you doing out here so late, I was worried about you."

I shivered, my teeth chatter as I felt Bellamy watching us, "I'm fine. I just got a little excited about the water and leaned too far over. If Bellamy hadn't been here, well let's not imagine what would've happened if he wasn't here."

Finn looked over at Bellamy and sighed. He left me alone with the coat wrapped around my shoulders. I watched him hand Bellamy money and rolled my eyes. When Finn came back to my side I glared, "five dollars? That's all the life of the woman you love is worth?"

Bellamy stood there watching us as Finn ignored my question. He smiled as he hugged me and took me away from the stranger who had not only saved my life, but also my sanity.

After almost dying I couldn't stop thinking about my savior. So after two days I went to find him on the third class passenger deck. Finn didn't want me to thank him, but I didn't really care what Finn wanted. I made up an excuse, I needed to give him his jacket back. But the truth was I needed to see Bellamy and tell him if he hadn't been there then I wouldn't be here now. I needed to thank him.

But I also wanted to know him.

The sun was shining, but I still needed a jacket. It was cold in the middle of the ocean, even in the daytime. My heels clicked louder than any other passengers on this deck. Everyone turned to look at me, my big hat intimidating them. I stood up straight and kept my glasses from showing how much I hated my status.

I was more like them than they realized.

"Well well if it isn't the distraught princess," his voice was behind me, I could hear him smiling. I turned around.

He stood there wearing the same shirt he had on that night. He had a book in his hands and he looked just as handsome as I remembered. I took in a deep breath, "you're a hard person to find Mr. Blake."

"Bellamy," he said bowing slightly as he stood there, "my friends call me Bellamy. We are friends right?"

I nodded, "yes I suppose we are. How are you?"

He smiled that crooked smile I remembered from the night before, "I'm good. I've got air in my lungs, a bed that no one else sleeps in. I wake up every morning and I'm on the ship of dreams heading to a new life that's waiting. I'm real good."

"Well good. That's really good," I nodded, unsure of what to say next.

Bellamy smiled, his eyes squinting against the sun as he looked at me. He ran his finger across his lips and kept staring, "so why were you looking for me exactly? Thinking about jumping overboard again? Need a hand in lying to your boyfriend?"

I blushed and shook my head. I stood up taller, "I just wanted to thank you. For saving me. I uh, I would've done it if you hadn't been there. Which scares me. I realize now how stupid and foolish I was for thinking that was the only solution. So thank you for being there."

He smiled, "well then I was in the right place at the right time huh?"

"Yeah," I laughed as he motioned towards a few chairs, "so what's your story? I mean you saw the lowest point in mine."

Bellamy sighed, "why would a high class girl like yourself care about a low class boy like me?"

I shrugged, "because I do. You're different. You told me about fishing with your dad so I wouldn't jump off a ship. I just want to know more."

He looked out at the water and nodded his head. He pulled the book up onto his lap, "well I'm hoping this ship takes me home. I've been wandering around Europe for too long now waiting for my chance. I won my ticket and I can't wait to see America again."

I smiled, "I don't want to see America. I don't want to leave my home," he looked at me surprised, "what's that?"

I pointed to his book so he wouldn't focus on me. He looked embarrassed as he remembered he was holding it, "it's uh. My writing. It's the only thing I keep in this gypsy life of mine."

"Can I read some?"

"Hell no," he laughed as he pulled it away from me, "I don't even know you. You never told me your name princess."

I hadn't realized we missed that part. I looked out at the water, wondering how my mom had missed the entire episode that happened a few nights ago. Finn didn't even seem to care either, he just went along with the slipping story. He didn't push me too hard, even though my shoes were on the other side of the railing.

"Clarke," I held out my hand and smiled at Bellamy, "Clarke Griffin."

"It's nice to meet you Clarke. So we agree no more bow surfing huh?"

I laughed and nodded, feeling stupid for even thinking about jumping in the first place, "yeah. I uh. I had a weak moment."

He whistled as he nodded, "want to talk about it?"  
I looked at this stranger and I felt like I could trust him. In the entire mess of my life here on this ship, I finally felt like there might be someone on my side.

So I took in a deep breath, "my dad died. He was the businessman. He was important and he handled everything. He left us with nothing," I lowered my voice even though I wasn't embarrassed by it. My mother had taught me to be though, "my mom forced me into an engagement because she believes money is the only thing we need in life. So we're going to America to start a life we lost in London."

Bellamy looked surprised as he sat there and listened to my condensed story of my life. He squinted at the sun, "I left my sister back home after we lost our mom. She was only eighteen but I had to get away. I had to find myself after losing the only parent I ever had. I hate myself every day for it. That's why I've tried so hard to find a way home."

"Did you write to her?" I asked wondering how someone as compassionate as Bellamy could leave a sister behind.

He sighed, "I tried to, but as you can see I'm not as well off as you are. Which means she probably didn't get my letters because I left her there with nothing. I miss her, I know she probably hates me. We both lost our mother that day and I was selfish."

"Tell me about your sister," I could see his pain, I could feel how upset he was over leaving her. Maybe he would actually feel better talking about her.

He looked away from me, "she's beautiful. Big brown eyes just like mine. Hair as long as yours but as dark and curly as mine. She just loves life, she's fearless. She jumps into any situation and doesn't think before she acts. She wears her heart on her sleeve and it's the most beautiful thing a girl can do. She's my best friend," he sighed, "and I blew it when I walked away. I didn't even say goodbye, I just left. The dirt wasn't even covering her grave and I was on a boat out of there."

"I'm sure she understands," I whispered reaching out and touching his hand.

The moment my skin touched this I felt the spark. His brown eyes found mine and it was like we had shared a million secrets between each other already. I jumped, the feeling going deep down into my soul. I might not agree with my mother and her lifestyle, but I was taught to be a lady. No matter what I was feeling, a lady didn't do these things.

Bellamy looked at me with his big eyes and shook his head, "if I were her I'd never forgive myself. I know my sister, she's not happy with me."

I squeezed his hand, another spark shooting down my spine. I watched him feel it too, our bodies more in tune with each other than we were aware. I shook my head, letting go of his hand. I searched for something to say, but I was too nervous. I had never done something like this.

I had never felt this way before.

"I uh. I have to go," I stood up feeling ashamed of everything I had been thinking. Not because I cared about Finn, but because it wasn't right. My heart was pounding in my chest as I looked at Bellamy. Why couldn't he be the one I was engaged too? Why couldn't my life be more like his?

"Wait, Clarke," he grabbed my wrist and that spark was back. Flashes from the night I almost fell played in my head as I turned to look at him, "when can I see you again? I know we just met, but I uh. I really would like to see you. Friends right?"

I smiled, letting out a slow breath. I knew I would regret it the moment I opened my mouth, but I invited him anyways, "tomorrow night. We always have dinner in the grand ball room. Tell the attendant you're with Finn Collins and his fiancé."

He gave me a nod, releasing my wrist as I walked away before I could do more damage than I already had to my poor bruised heart.

—

My blue dress was too tight. Whenever I let my mother tie my corset she made sure I couldn't breathe. A lady was supposed to be tiny and mute. If I couldn't breathe then I couldn't talk and that meant I couldn't give these men a piece of my mind. That's what she hated the most about me, my stubbornness and the fact that I didn't have a filter. I took after my father that way, I wouldn't let someone treat me like I was less than them.

I hadn't told anyone about inviting Bellamy to dinner. I didn't want it to be a surprise but I wanted him to be there with me. I didn't want to go on Finn's arm, I wanted to bring Bellamy on mine. I didn't care about statuses and stuff like that, I cared about the person that was there with me. I took in a deep breath as my mother stood at the door waiting for me.

"Honestly Clarke, you're always so late. Finn won't wait for you forever," she held her small bag in her hands. She looked worried, the lines were on her forehead now. She hadn't stopped worrying since my dad died.

All this pretending was finally catching up to her.

I rolled my eyes, "well I can barely move because you cut off my oxygen supply with this corset. Plus Finn doesn't wait for me anyways. Let's go mother, before I change my mind."

She grabbed my forearm before I could open the door, "you won't change your mind Clarke Griffin. You know as well as I do in order for us to get our wealth back you have to marry The Collins boy. He's a fine young man, I don't see why you hate this arrangement so much."

"Because I don't love him mother," the words fell out of my mouth before I could think about it. I stopped, the first person coming to my mind was Bellamy. I couldn't love him after only meeting him could I? Then again he had saved my life.

My mother laughed, snapping me out of my anxious thoughts, "love doesn't have to be present in a marriage. Especially not when you are to marry one of the richest young gentlemen in America."

I pulled my arm out of her grip, "I don't care about all that mother, that's what you care about. I thought as your only daughter you might want me to be happy. I see we're both mistaken."

I stomped out of the room ahead of her, my blonde hair falling down my shoulders. She hated when I kept my hair down, which is why I did it for most of the parties we went to. The ball room was already filled with guests, so I stood at the door opening Bellamy hadn't arrived yet.

"Wow you look beautiful," I smiled as his voice filled my ears, spinning around to find him dressed in a nice tuxedo.

I raised my eyebrows, "well you clean up pretty nicely. Steal that suit from someone?"

He laughed as he took my hand and kissed it. I was impressed, he had done his homework, "actually a nice woman lent it to me. She's a friend of yours, Rose Brown?"

I laughed, "Ah yes. Rose. Well I should've known she's always loved a fixer upper like yourself. So you ready for this terrible dinner we will be having?"

He held out his arm for me to take and we walked into the room together as if we were the only ones who mattered, "as long as you're there I think I can manage."

I smiled at him as Finn stopped his conversation with whoever he was talking to and stared at us. I hated keeping track of all the important people in this place, so I stopped. I had no idea who he was talking to and I didn't care. He looked surprised as hell to see Bellamy on my arm. So did my mother, which made it that much sweeter.

"Darling," I put on a fake voice, "you remember Bellamy? He saved me the other night, from falling overboard. I wanted to thank him so I invited him for a nice dinner tonight."

Finn collected himself after glaring in my direction. I knew I would pay for this later, "ah yes, young Blake. It's nice to see you again."

I squeezed Bellamy's hand as we made our way to the table where the food was already waiting. We sat down across from each other, my mother on one side, Finn on the other. I took in a deep breath as the waiter brought us wine, but I didn't take any. I was surprised to see Bellamy refuse the alcohol as well. Finn always enjoyed more than a glass of something at dinner.

It always made his anger worse later that evening.

"So Bellamy tell us about yourself. It's not everyday we have a third class passenger sitting at our table."

I glared at Finn as he ignored me and took a bite of his food. My mom smiled, like she was in on the joke. I shook my head, "don't be rude."

"I'm not. Just trying to make our guest feel comfortable."

I rolled my eyes as Bellamy cleared his throat, "it's alright. Yeah I'm in third class, but I bet my ticket was cheaper than yours," he laughed as he winked at me, "but it's not bad. I mean I've got a bed and food. I'll be home soon and that's what my end goal is. To be with my sister again."

"So you're from America," Finn watched me as I ate, my heart racing as I learned more about the boy I couldn't stop thinking about, "how did you end up in London?"

"Life," he was too happy to fit in with these people. He knew what life was, he had experienced more than finding wealth and keeping it in the family. He was hard and rough, he was happy to have a pillow under his head. Maybe that's why I craved his company more than everyone else's. I knew that's one of there reasons why I was starting to like him so much.

Finn coughed as I slipped off my shoe and ran my foot over Bellamy's. His eyes went wide as he tried to collect himself before anyone else noticed, "well tell us about third class. I hear you have roommates down there. How's the food?"

Bellamy took a bit as I slipped my foot under the hem of his pant, "not nearly as delicious as the food up here in first class. You guys have the better end of the deal."

The table laughed as he said that and I rolled my eyes. Finn stopped obsessing with Bellamy and turned to talk about business. My mother watched me, I could feel her eyes on me as I finished my meal and pulled my foot away from his. She could read me faster than anyone else. I didn't need her making a scene right now.

"So Clarke how did you and Mr. Blake meet?" Rose glanced at me as the waiters cleared the table of the plates.

"I uh. I was leaning down to look at the water and I slipped. Mr. Blake happened to be out on the deck and well he saved me from going overboard."

She raised her eyebrows at me, "well aren't you lucky then? Why did you go to third class to look at the water?"

"I didn't really know where I was. I had just been walking around," I looked at Bellamy and felt my cheeks burn.

"Right time right place, huh? If we weren't so lucky we would've lost the beauty that is Clarke," Bellamy saved me with his sweet words. I looked down at the table as I felt both Finn and my mother staring at me.

They all kept talking, the men getting ready to retire to the study so they could smoke and drink. They never let us come along, they claimed they needed a break from the mundane chatter of women. I hated this part, I always did. Especially because everyone else went along with it.

Finn took my hand before he left me to fend for myself, "this little surprise of yours," his voice was hard, "you know I hate surprises Clarke."

He pulled me away from the rest of the group, "well I thought we should thank him somehow. You heard him the food is not good in third class."

He clicked his tongue on the top of his mouth, "need I remind you that I am your fiancé? You are to be my wife which means you listen to me. Don't you do this again, Clarke," he kept his voice low but it was hard, "don't embarrass me ever again."

I nodded, tears coming into my eyes as he slapped my cheek. The room had emptied, save one person. Finn left me as I felt down to my knees, embarrassed by the way he had spoken to me. Embarrassed that I had stood there and let him treat me like I was another piece of his property.

I looked up and Bellamy was there. He offered me his hand, his fingers tracing the mark Finn had left behind, "he doesn't deserve you."

I shook my head, "he's not always like that."

There was no reason to defend him, but I still did. Bellamy nodded as he helped me back up onto my feet. He pushed a piece of hair behind my ear and then offered me his arm, "care to see what a real party is like princess?"

It was hot as we made our way down the stairs, my shoes pinching my feet. I had changed into a softer dress, one without a corset so I could breathe. Thankfully Bellamy had suggested it, because this party would've been hell in that blue dress. The music was loud and I heard the people dancing and laughing as Bellamy shut the door behind him. This was the basement of the ship. This was a place I had never been and yet I was so excited to step foot into.

"Now this," Bellamy held out his arms, "this is a party!"

I laughed as the guys celebrated Bellamy's return. They passed him around, handing him a glass of beer as we entered the room. They were all clearly in love with the man I was with. I smiled as he held my hand in his and we greeted all the people there. I took in a deep breath and smiled at the strangers, feeling more welcomed here than I ever had with the people who called themselves my friends.

"Let's dance," I said pulling Bellamy into the middle of the room. I laughed loudly as he grabbed my waist and spun me around, the music was upbeat and we jumped around like we were children again. My hair flew around my shoulders, my shoes kicked off into the corner of the room. I had never had this much fun, not since I lost my father.

Two songs in and a little girl tapped Bellamy's arm. He turned away from me, "aw Clara, you know you're my girl right?"

"You're not dancing with me," she pushed out her lower lip. She couldn't have been older than five. Bellamy was so taken by her, I took a step back and let them dance together. I walked over to the first boy who Bellamy hugged and took a drink of his beer.

He stood behind me, both of us watching Bellamy and his new date, "he hasn't stopped talking about you since that night."

I jumped as I looked at the kid who's name I couldn't remember, "and yet I'm the one who had to find him."

He smiled, "he knew he'd never get to you. Not up there in first class. But that doesn't mean he didn't want to try. He really likes you, he doesn't like just anyone."

My heart skipped a beat as I looked at his friend, "Miller right?"

He nodded, "don't break his heart, Clarke. I don't think he could handle that, not so far away from his sister."

I nodded slowly, "I have no intensions of hurting him."

Bellamy made his way back to me as the music slowed down. Clara went back to her mom as he offered me his hand, "can I have this dance my lady?"

I bowed and then took his hand in mine, gliding along with him as the slow song played. He pulled me close, his chest pressed up against mine. I smiled at him, feeling the heat and the sweat in places I had never felt before. I took in a deep breath, lacing my fingers through his.

"I haven't had this much fun in a long time," I whispered as he pressed his forehead against mine, "thank you."

Bellamy looked at me, his eyes staring into mine. Then they traveled down my face and stopped at my lips. He licked his lips, like he was thinking about the consequences that would follow him if he kissed me. I took in a breath, waiting for him to make a move. I wasn't supposed to be the one to initiate it, but hell I wanted to kiss him. I wanted him to kiss me, to feel the spark that would happen when our lips touched.

I licked my lips, "just do it," I whispered as he kept thinking about it.

Finally as the music reached the chorus he pressed his lips against mine. They were as soft as I imagined they would be, his hands gripping my waist tightly as we stopped moving and stood there kissing. I pressed my hands against his cheeks, holding in place.

My heart was racing as we kissed, the spark even more powerful than the one when we first touched. I heard the people around us, but it didn't matter. They all faded away, I forgot where we were as we stood there together. This was what I wanted, a life with a person who I truly cared for. Maybe I cared for him because he saved me from falling.

Or maybe he had saved me from more than that. Maybe he was saving me from myself.

Whatever it was, whatever I was feeling, I didn't want it to stop. I didn't care about Finn or America. I didn't care about losing my money or the status that was so important to everyone else. Here in this basement, surrounded by people I had never met I finally felt like myself. I felt like I was free and that was all that mattered.

I wanted to make this moment last. I wanted to hold onto Bellamy and never ever let him go.


	2. Chapter 2

The sun was bright as I sat there on the patio with Finn. My stomach growled, my head hurt. I didn't drink a lot last night, but well I wasn't used to that kind of partying. I sighed as I sat down and the maid brought me my food. Finn was already dressed, the paper shoved in his face. He didn't even acknowledge me as I took my first bite.

"You were out late last night," he finally said as I took a sip of coffee. I looked around and realized he was talking to me.

I swallowed my drink, "I was talking to the girls a little late, lost track of time. You weren't in bed when I got home though, I didn't think you'd notice."

He put down the paper and glared at me, "funny because I was told you went to a party in third class last night. Care to explain why my assistant would lie to me about that?"

I shrugged, "maybe someone looked like me."

"Clarke I told you last night you aren't to lie to me. You are my wife, you will obey me," his face was red, his hair wasn't styled yet. It fell over his forehead and moved as he spoke with anger.

I couldn't help but laugh. The scared little girl from yesterday was gone, "I am not your property Finn. I am your wife, which means I am a person. Don't treat me like an object and maybe I won't act like a prude."

"Don't be a brat. You're lucky I even agreed to this marriage. Your mother is desperate, need I remind you how important I am to your family?"

I rolled my eyes, "need I remind you how I don't care?"

He slammed his fist onto the table and startled me, "I forbid you to see that Blake kid again. If you so much as set foot on third class then you will be sent down there for the rest of the voyage and our marriage will be off. I know you hate disappointing your mother, so I'd think long and hard before running off to be with your boyfriend."

I shook my head, "maybe I don't care anymore. Since you're such a jackass now, maybe I'll call off the wedding."

He grabbed my arm, holding it as hard as he could. He made a red mark around my wrist as he looked at me hard, "you wouldn't dare. You need me, we both know it. You're too scared to start over."

"Go to hell," I had the urge to spit in his face, but I didn't.

He didn't release my arm just yet, "fine. Go, run off to be a whore with your gutter rat."

I nodded my head, laughing as he finally let go of me, "I'd rather be his whore than your wife."

Then I did it, I spit in his face before I turned and walked out of the room. I knew I couldn't go back, I knew this was it. I had cut the last ties to the life I never wanted and I had never felt better. I took in a deep breath, thankful I had gotten dressed before breakfast. I walked out of the suite and towards the deck, hoping to find Bellamy before my mother found me first.

He was throwing rocks off the side of the ship. I surprised him, coming up behind him and laughing as he jumped, "surprise," I giggled as he smiled at me. He seemed to be as taken with me as I was him. He hugged me, looking around before he placed a quick kiss against my lips. I took in a deep breath, feeling weaker than I had earlier with Finn.

"I left him," I whispered as I ran my finger down his chest, "he forbid me to see you and I told him I wasn't his property. So I left him. Wow, I really did it. Oh my god. I have nothing. Literally nothing now."

Bellamy wrapped his arms around me and held me close, "you have me," he whispered as I felt the fears start to creep in. I took in a deep breath as I let him support me, "you have the possibility to live whatever life you want now without Finn or your mother breathing down your neck."

I nodded, "yeah," I said quietly feeling a little stronger with him. He squeezed my hand, "I'm really glad I have you."

He kissed me again, this time he didn't care who saw and neither did I. I wrapped my arms around his neck as his hands pressed into the small of my back. I smiled as I pulled away, my fingers pulling at the curls on top of his head. I leaned my forehead against his, "let's get out of here."

He laced his fingers through mine and took me in the opposite direction I had come in.

I squealed as he pulled me along behind him, "where are we going?"

He pushed past people, "you just told me you left your fiancé," he was smiling, I could hear it in his voice. I held his hand tighter as a few guys watched us together, "I'm taking you somewhere he won't be able to find you."

We walked back into the ship, down a long hallway. There were a few stairs we had to go down and then I realized where we were. This was the third class boarding rooms. There were so many rooms. So many places where they were shoved together. I felt sorry for Bellamy, until he opened the door that belonged to him and it was empty.

"You are more than welcome to stay with me," he said stepped into his room and giving me that crooked smiled, "I know it's not suitable for a princess. It's not as big or fancy as you're used to."

"It's perfect," I whispered as I stepped in behind him.

Bellamy closed the door behind him, wrapping my hair around his hand. He pressed me into the door as I laughed and kissed him back. It was crazy but I had fallen in love with him already. Five days and I knew that I didn't belong with Finn, I belong here with this wild eyed boy. I wasn't a precious piece of glass that sat around looking pretty. I was a girl who wanted to experience life, to laugh and to love as hard as she lived.

His big hands held my face as he pressed against me, "you don't think I'm a mess do you?"

He laughed as he pulled back, his hand covering my heart, "I think you're beautiful. You're like the finest piece of art. Art is meant to be messy," he whispered as he kissed my cheek, "we can figure our way out the chaos together."

His lips nibbled at my neck as I moved my hips towards his. I closed my eyes, savoring the moment. I didn't know what would happen when my mother found out about what happened this morning. But I knew I never wanted this to end.

"Bellamy," my voice was full of air, "be with me."

He looked surprised as he locked his door and lead me to his bed. He sat down as I pulled the tie to my dress. He swallowed loudly as I stood there undressing. He seemed more nervous than I was. I smiled as I sat down beside him, kissing him as his hands pushed down the straps of my dress.

"Clarke," he ran his fingers through my hair, our clothes thrown on the floor, "I love you."

I smiled as he hovered above me, our bodies waiting for the tension to be relieved, "I love you too."

I never realized how amazing it could be when you loved the person you were with. Finn and I didn't relate, we didn't fit together. Bellamy, he was like the missing piece that fit right into my soul. Every touch, every kiss made my body scream for more. I couldn't get enough of him, my gasps loud with every movement he made.

He held our hands above my head as we rode out our highs together. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe as he went still and the tension that was finally released washed over us. Bellamy kissed me slowly, his fingers letting go of mine as we pulled apart.

He didn't let me go far. He pulled me close, my back pressed against his chest. I smiled as he kissed my shoulder blade, the world fading around me. I closed my eyes and I knew this was exactly what I needed. A place where I felt safe, where I finally felt like I could be myself.

We laid there tangled up in his sheets once it was over. After the pleasure washed over us he released me from his hold. I turned around, holding his hand in mine. We laid facing each other. We were both so happy, we couldn't stop smiling. I laughed, unsure of what to say or how to feel in this moment. I felt crazy for being here, for abandoning my life.

"This is crazy," I laid my head on his pillow, his fingers drawing shapes on my skin, "we barely know each other. How can we be sure of what we feel?"

Bellamy picked up my hand and kissed it. He took in a breath, "I know how I feel, I've never wanted someone as much as I want you. In my life, in my bed, just here with me. If that's not love then I don't know what is."

"Good answer," I whispered leaning in to kiss him, "I'm glad you stole me away."

I laid my hand in the crook of his shoulder, feeling more alive than I ever have before. I needed to take control over my life, I should've done it a long time ago. Meeting Bellamy was the spark that lit up my soul, my heart. But he was also the spark that changed my life.

—

I spent the night curled up in Bellamy's arms. It was the best night of my life, his lips pressing against my skin as I woke up. We ate breakfast together, we laughed and told each other stories. We were a real couple, one that was together and not just together for appearance. He held my hand as we walked, he kissed me whenever he wanted to. Choosing to be with Bellamy was the best thing I had ever done.

It was late afternoon when the marshall started following us. We were taking a walk. I told him we couldn't spend all day in bed, even though he wanted to try. We turned the corner and I watched as the marshall did the same. I told Bellamy and when we started to run, so did he. It took us almost an other to finally run through the entire third class floor.

I giggled as Bellamy held my hands and I spun around out in the cold. We had finally lost the Marshall somewhere near the broiler room. The night air was refreshing after the chase. I took in a deep breath as he spun me back around and wrapped his arms around me. He held me from behind as we watched the boat sail out into the dark water.

"You make me happy," Bellamy kissed my cheek as I thought about my father. He would've loved Bellamy. He would've hated Finn, "happier than I've ever been."

Bellamy's deep voice had become my favorite sound, "I'm glad. Because I haven't felt so alive since I left home."

I was facing him as the bell rang out. Bellamy's eyes got wide as I turned back towards the ocean. Suddenly the darkness wasn't the only thing in front of us. There was a huge white block of ice staring at the ship. We were headed straight for it. I gasped as Bellamy pulled me closer to him and away from the side. Pieces of ice fell onto the deck as we floated on by.

"That can't be good," I whispered, thinking of how few life boats there were. They say the ship is unsinkable. But that's not true, every ship can sink if it's hit in the right spot.

Bellamy laced his fingers through mine as chaos followed. The workers went crazy, the iceberg was out of our sights now. Kids were playing with the cold chunks as they ran around trying to find the captain, to figure out the amount of damage done. I felt sick, this couldn't be happening. This was supposed to be the ship of dreams.

Suddenly it felt like it had become the ship of nightmares.

"Do you think it's okay?" I looked at Bellamy hoping he would give me the answer I needed to hear.

"I don't know," he whispered still staring at the space in front of us, "we have to find out."

I nodded, swallowing my fear. We didn't get far, someone called out his name, "Bellamy Blake you're under arrest."

He laughed, holding my hand tighter in his, "what? For what?"

"Kidnapping Ms. Griffin. Mr. Collins has been worried sick all day," the same Marshall that was there at the railing, the one who was chasing us earlier, grabbed his wrists and handcuffed them together. Finn appeared, grabbing for me as they took Bellamy away.

"No," I pulled away, Bellamy's big brown eyes turning back towards me. He kept his features calm, so I freaked out for him, "you can't do this Finn! You let me go, make them stop."

"Shh. Whatever he said isn't true sweetheart," he kissed my forehead and I felt sick. I shook my head, trying to get away from this monster.

"Let go of me. They can't take him. Bellamy! Bellamy I'll find you," I called out as they took in down the stairs. He didn't reply he was already gone.

Finn looked happy, "I told you you're mine. Just because I let you go doesn't mean I can't get you back. Now let's go see what's happening with the boat while your boyfriend is disposed of."

"I meant what I said," I pushed him away before he could pull me into the hallway. They were telling people to put on their life vests. I knew what that meant, "you can go to hell, Finn. I choose him."

"Clarke," my mothers voice startled me. She looked angry, "Finn told me what happened. Don't go see that boy. We have to find a lifeboat."

I glared at Finn, "yes I'm sure he'll find a way onto onto one. I'm sorry mother but I'm not your property either. I am my own person. I choose Bellamy. He's good and he's kind. If you cared about me at all you'd realize how I feel."

They both laughed and I knew in that moment they were more suited for each other than we had ever been, "I don't care how you feel. Finn surely doesn't care either. But you will come with us to safety."

I shook my head and backed away from both of them, "no mother. I won't. I'm not sorry either," she looked hurt as I stood there getting ready to leave.

"Finn stop her," she panicked and he grabbed my wrist.

I just smiled, my eyes staring at the ones that matched my own, "goodbye mother."

I spit in Finn's face for the second time in my life and it felt great. I ran towards the stairs where they had taken him. I raced down them, too far behind to follow. I tried to remember our first day when they explained the layout of the ship to those who wanted a tour. Where would they take someone who was arrested? I had no idea, but it had to be down in third class. I ran as fast as I could in my dress towards the lower class.

I stopped when I saw the water at the bottom of the stairs. My eyes went wide, the ship was sinking. It was only a matter of time before we were all under. I took in a breath, all the more reason I had to save him. I screamed as I stepped into the ice cold water. It felt like pins and needles sticking my skin. Thankfully it wasn't higher than my ankles I could still move pretty quickly.

Bellamy had been right to stop me that first night on the ship. I wouldn't have survived long in this cold, not jumping from the height of the ship. I didn't even recognize that girl who wanted to end her life. She was happy now with Bellamy, she didn't want to jump into a water full of ice. She wanted to live holding his hand.

"Bellamy!" I called out his name as I ran down the hallway. There were so many doors, so many places they could've taken him. I had no idea where to start. The water rushed in faster as I kept searching.

I screamed louder every time I passed an intersection. Finally it paid off, I heard metal crash against metal, "Clarke! Clarke I'm in here. Follow my voice. The ship is sinking!"

"I know," I was terrified, "I didn't know he would do that. I'm sorry."

"I know Clarke. I know," I found him handcuffed to a pole. The water was higher in this room, he was up on a desk avoiding the cold. I screamed even louder as it hit my waist, "I don't have the key, Princess."

I nodded, "okay I have an idea," I went back into the hallway and grabbed the axe that was in the glass case. I had to take a moment and center myself before I moved. It was heavy in my hands as I made my way back to him.

He looked worried, "have you done this before?"

I shook my head, "no. But I'm not leaving without you Bell."

He nodded and spread his cuffs as far as they'd go, "okay. Do it."

He closed his eyes as I held the weapon over my shoulder. I used all my strength and hurled it forward, missing the metal by a long shot. I cried out frustrated as the water got higher. The cold was seeping into my body. I couldn't focus on anything but it.

"You can do this Clarke. I know you can," Bellamy pulled me back into the room, "focus."

I nodded and made the same movements again. This time I hit the cuffs and he was free. I threw down the axe and hugged him, his lips pressing against mine, "you're so stupid for coming down here Clarke."

"I won't leave without you," I kissed him back.

He nodded and grabbed my hand, "we have to get to higher ground."

We had to swim out of that room and down the nearest hallway. We found our way back up to the other floor, they were still dry. People were refusing to put on their life vests, they saw us soaking wet and realized something was wrong. The lifeboats were being loaded as the front end ship lowered into the sea.

"Women and children. Only women and children," the conductor called out for people to board the life boats. They could only hold so many. I took in a breath and kept my hand in Bellamy's, holding it tightly.

He stopped us in front of a boat, "you need to get on that. Don't wait for me, you need to save yourself Clarke."

I shook my head, "I won't go without you. I don't care what happens, I'll wait for a boat that takes us both."

He kissed my forehead, "I'll be on the next one, I promise princess. I won't leave you either. Please just get on this boat."

He squeezed my hands after kissing them softly, "may we meet again."

Tears were in my eyes as I looked into his beautiful brown ones, "may we meet again."

I let him push me towards the lifeboat, there was one seat left. I was in a state of shock or maybe it was the cold. Suddenly I agreed and stepped over the side to take that last seat on the tiny little wooden boat that was supposed to save us from the wild sea. I didn't blink, I couldn't focus as the men began to lower it towards the water. Bellamy stood watching, nodding his head.

A woman who looked an awfully lot like my mother held my arm as we made our way slowly to the ground. Everyone was panicking boats were almost squishing other life boats. My heart was pounding as I kept staring up at the face of the man I truly loved.

There weren't more boats, the men would all die. He had lied to me, this wasn't a trade. He was letting me go so I wouldn't drown or freeze to death. What he didn't realize is that I didn't want to survive without him. I didn't lose everything when I walked away from Finn, I had only gained my life back.

There was soft music playing in my head as I remembered our short time together. The dinner, his party. Us laughing as we danced together, that first kiss we shared waking me up from the dead life I was living. Our first time in his bed, his gentle hands making my body ache. This wasn't how we were supposed to end.

"No," I stood up and gauged the distance between the lifeboat and the ship. I didn't think I just jumped, the people screaming as I grabbed the railing and held myself up.

I pulled myself back over and ran towards the stairs. Bellamy met me halfway back to where we had been standing, "Clarke what the hell? This is so stupid. You're supposed to be safe."

"I can't lose you too," tears were in my eyes, "I walked away from the life I never wanted and found one I never want to lose in you. Please don't make me get on another damn boat. We can survive this," I put my cold hand against his cheek, "together."

He hugged me tightly, the boat getting deeper into the water. Soon it would be straight up and one of the ends would break. Everyone was running and screaming. People were praying. Everyone knew that there would be people would didn't make it out alive.

I held onto his hand tightly, we would make it. We would survive and we'd find our life together on this other side of this disaster.

Bellamy got us to higher ground once the ship started to go vertical. People were falling, sliding done the deck. Others were jumping trying to save themselves before they went under. He held me tightly in one hand as he held onto the railing with the other.

I laughed, "Bell," I tried to find the good in this situation, "this is where we met."

He smiled, the fear finally making it way into his eyes. He had held it together for me. He didn't say anything as he held me even tighter, pressing one last warm kiss to my forehead as the boat broke in half.

"When I count to three Clarke, hold your breath and swim. Keep hold of my hand, and swim as far away from the boat as you can okay?"

I nodded as we watched the water race towards us. The boat was ready to find it's final resting place underneath the sea. I took in a deep breath as Bellamy counted down in my ear. I closed my eyes and then it happened.

Everyone screamed as the side we were on went crashing down into the water. I held my breath, Bellamy's hand holding mine so we wouldn't separate. I could swim, but this water was too cold. I was already numb from walking around in it. The adrenaline was wearing thin. I wouldn't survive long out in the sea.

"Here," Bellamy grabbed a piece of wood and held onto it as I swam over. He lifted me up, my life vest heavy from the cold water. I grabbed his hands, trying to pull him up with me. His added weight made the board sink. He shook his head and held onto the side, his hand still in mine.

The chaos started to calm down once we were all off the boat. There was nothing to do but wait for someone to save us. I squeezed his cold hand, "tell me one of your stories, Bell."

He sighed, "they aren't that good. This, this is a good story. Surviving the sinking of a ship. I'll tell this one for years to come."

I smiled, afraid to cry, "I love you. I don't care how long we've known each other. I love you Bellamy Blake."

He shook his head, "don't do that Clarke. Don't say goodbye. We will get through this. You're going to laugh about this in years to come, I promise you. So don't say goodbye. Not yet."

I nodded my head slowly, feeling tears in my eyes. God I loved him. I didn't want to lose him. I started to sing softly as the night settled around us.

We had been quiet for a few minutes, my teeth chattering from the cold. It was worse in the water, the wind blew and made you that much colder. I didn't even have to worry about something in the water. I closed my eyes, fighting sleep because I was afraid I wouldn't wake up again. My heart beat slowly, my hand still holding tightly to Bellamy's

He was my lifeline.

It seemed like hours until he finally spoke again, but I knew it had only been a few minutes. He coughed, the cold was worse for him. He was still in the water. I shook my head, begging the door to hold both our weight. I didn't want to survive this without him.

"When we get through this you have to find my sister," his eyes were closed as he held onto the door, keeping the top half of his body out of the freezing water, "tell her I loved her, that I didn't want to leave her. Tell her I'm sorry."

A tear fell down my cheek as I looked at Bellamy, "we will get through this together. The boats, they'll come back. I'm not leaving here without you."

He was quiet as the waves splashed around us. It was so cold, colder than I ever thought was possible. My hair was freezing together, icicles were forming on my lips. I wasn't sure how anyone would survive something as harsh as this, but I wasn't going to give up. I was going to get through this.

I didn't regret jumping off that lifeboat.

"So cold," I whispered as I kept staring up at the stars wishing someone would come and save us. This wasn't something I could save myself from.

"Clarke," Bellamy's lips were blue, his teeth chattered, "stay with me. You aren't going to die here, not like this. You're going to live, you're going to have babies and grand babies. You'll tell them about this moment and you'll remember how strong you are. But you aren't going to die on me."

I shivered as the water sloshed against my legs, "I can't feel my body. I'm so cold."

Bellamy held my hands in his. He was colder than I would ever be. He was in the water completely, I was on the door, "winning that ticket, Clarke. It was the best thing to ever happen to me. I got to meet you, I fell in love with you. If I hadn't won that ticket. I don't think I'd ever feel this way. Promise me that you won't give up. No matter what happens, no matter how hopeless things get. Promise me now, Clarke and never let go of that promise."

I nodded my head slowly, "I promise Bellamy," I moved my eyes so I could see him, "I'll never let go."

—

Fifteen-hundred people went into the sea, when Titanic sank from under us. There were twenty boats floating nearby and only one came back. One. Six were saved from the water, myself included. Only six of us, out of fifteen-hundred. Afterward, the seven-hundred people in the boats had nothing to do but wait. It felt like a lifetime, but days later another boat saved us. We boarded the big ship, refugees of a nightmare we never thought would happen.

We were in that water for hours just waiting. Waiting to die, waiting to live. Waiting to see what fate would meet us on the other side of that disaster.

I was ready to give into the pain and the cold when I was finally rescued. I saw the light before I let the cold take over. At first I didn't think it was real, but then I heard people shouting. There was a life boat, it had come back. I opened my mouth to call out for help, but nothing came out. I was too cold, too frozen to call out. I pulled on Bellamy's hand but he didn't move.

"No," I cried as I realized he was gone. I had held his hand, I had tried to keep him awake. Still we both knew how this would end didn't we? I couldn't accept it. I shook my head, trying to wake him up.

The boat was getting further away. I knew I had to let him go. If I wanted to survive, which is what he wanted for me, I had to let him go and find a way to get on that boat. My heart broke as I realized I'd never see him again. I'd never lay him to rest and have a place to visit. His burial would be here in the sea, a place I would never ever come again.

I took in a breath and kissed his frozen hands, pulling mine out of his grip. I remembered his laughter, that crooked smile. I remembered every moment we were together. He opened my eyes and showed me that love was real.

A relationship didn't have to be forced or arranged. You could fall in love with a single look, a single touch. He saved me and in a way maybe I helped save him too. Either way I'd never ever forget that brown eyed boy who stole my heart.

"I love you. I'll never let go. May we meet again, my love."

I watched as he floated down, his eyes closed. He'd never call me princess again, he'd never look at me like I hung the stars in the sky. It hurt to realize how little time we had known each other and how much life we should've had left together. I took in a deep breath and forced myself to forget that pain. I focused on survival, which told me to get moving.

The water splashed as I forced myself back into it. It was even colder the second time around. I raced towards the lifeboat, praying someone would hear me. I stopped swimming when I saw a whistle around someone's neck. I didn't think I just took action. I blew as hard as I could so they heard him. By some miracle that night in the middle of the ocean I was saved.

They ushered me up in to the lifeboat and covered me in blankets. I closed my eyes and mourned for the love I had so briefly found and lost. Bellamy Blake saved my life in more ways than one. Now I would never get to repay him. Now I'd never know how it felt to spend my life with someone I truly loved.

An immigration officer was making his way around this new ship, taking down names of those who survived. People were looking for their loved ones, they wanted to believe there was still a chance they would find them. I stood there that night we boarded, watching the fireworks that were set off from another distressed ship.

I didn't look for my mother or for Finn. I didn't have anyone to grieve with, to mourn the loss of my love and my life. I was finally free from the chains that had held me for so long. After this moment I would never look back. I would remember my time with Bellamy and that was it.

"Name?" the officer startled me and I felt my insides change.

I swallowed the pain that came along with losing the first love I ever truly had. I took in a deep breath, "Clarke Blake," I told him thinking about the sister I would have to find when I got to America.

He wrote it down as I held onto the coat he had given me. It was the last thing I had of the boy who saved me.

A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets. But now you know there was a man named Bellamy Blake and that he saved me in every way that a person can be saved. I don't even have a picture of him. He exists now only in my memory. Whenever the world becomes too much I close my eyes and he's standing there, telling me to hold on. He's there in my dreams, promising me that I'll live.

I would always love him. I told him that I'd live a life he would be proud of. I made him a promise and I would never break it. He sacrificed himself for me and now I had an entire life to live without him. I would never let go and somehow my heart would go on without him.

I closed my eyes and felt him there with me, holding me against the cold air. I took in a deep breath and I made him that promise once more; I'll never let go Bellamy. I'll never let go.


End file.
